I recently came across a great book called ‘Getting Past Your Breakup
that I think deserves a mention.
I don’t usually recommend self-help books because I find many of them patronising, airy-fairy, and full of psychobabble that has little practical application in the real-world.
However, ‘Getting Past Your Breakup – How to turn devastating loss into the best thing that ever happened to you’ is definitely worth a look if you are experiencing the pain and distress of a recent breakup.
For many of us, dealing with a relationship breakup is distressing to say the least. It doesn’t matter if your relationship lasted for 1 month, 1 year or 40 years; loosing the one you love hurts, really hurts, and the bad news is that there is rarely anything or anyone that can take away that awful pain.
Having said this, there are many things that we can do to support ourselves through these difficult days. According to Elliott, “right now, the best thing to do is to meet this challenge head on, work through your grief, make [new] plans, and change your life”. But, how is this possible when you are consumed by grief, yet expected to continue to attend to everyday practical matters such as work, family, and friends?
Elliot uses Getting Past Your Breakup to argue that we have three options during the breakup-period: the first is to spend all kinds of time, futile effort, and tears trying to win back your ex; the second is to carry on as if nothing has happened and continue on the same path that will lead you into another unsuccessful relationship; and the third option is to heal properly, look at what’s happened, and learn new ways to put together a healthy and whole life.
Over nine chapters, Elliot presents clear information on the grief work that is necessary to to obtain closure from the relationship and be able to move on. She offers many practical suggestions and sound advice on what to do and what not to do. What I really like about this book is that the it remains focused on keeping you focused on putting your needs first. It won’t offer you any quick-fix solutions to your pain, but it does offer hope and comfort on those dark days when nothing in the world seems to make sense anymore.
Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan J. Elliott can be purchased online from Amazon.
If you have read any books or articles on relationships and breaking up that might be helpful to others, please leave a comment or send me your recommendations.
